Meditation

I don't like meditation. Well, not in the traditional sense, anyway. Have you ever closed your eyes and saw the infinite recursions of the Mandelbrot set just zooming by? Isn't that just relaxing? I'll even link a video of the Mandelbrot set below, just so you can experience the true mathematical beauty of it. Now, I know what you're thinking. Math? Beauty? What does that have to do with meditation? Well, you see, the mathematics is shown in brilliant colours, and not the dull, boring number style that you're probably used to. Anyway, I've gotten this to happen with guided meditation a few times... until my class started TUZA.
What is TUZA? It's a breathing exercise that gets you to focus on your breathing. Unfortunately, when I attempt to focus on my breathing, I forget how to breathe. Thus, this is how I instinctively suffocate myself during meditation. Yay! You know, everyone else in my class feels calm, peaceful, sometimes even tired. But I feel, well, anxious, self-conscious, and sometimes even light-headed. It is absolute torture.
All hope is not lost, however. I often find menial tasks such as washing the dishes or yelling philosophy into the streets extremely calming. Actually, ever since I started volunteering at my school's library, I have become more halcyon. Seeing the books disappear from the cart in alphabetical order, and watching the Dewey Decimal System in action is extremely soothing.

Mandelbrot set zoom: https://youtu.be/pCpLWbHVNhk